The article describes the specific gender and sexuality relations that emerged in a life story interview I conducted with a gay-identified man who desires both women and men. I provide a detailed description not only of the eroticization he performed in the interview, but also of my reactions: I felt vulnerable, attractive, attracted, and repulsed. My reflexive analysis frames these reactions in the context of the power dynamics between us, as well as in the context of his narrated experiences with women (including solidarity, desire, abuse and economic interests) – some of which my analysis would not have revealed without taking our interaction into account. I thus argue for the importance of processes of embodied learning, and specifically, for the theoretical significance of the bisexual gendered dynamics between researcher and respondent. Further, my account illuminates the ambiguity of bonding between queer women and men. I argue that owing to the theoretical productivity of the researcher’s reflexivity, the transactional erotic aspects of our own subjectivity are telling of the very meanings (of sex, gender, sexuality and other categories) we aim to interrogate.
Contextual representation may mediate sex differences in heterosexual attraction
