This chapter has its roots in Davidson and Spring's (2008) paper, “Rhetorical Patterns in Academic Writing: Re-Examining Conventional Wisdom,” where the authors questioned the relevance of teaching the five-paragraph essay and the rather artificial division of essay writing into specific types: narrative, descriptive, expository, argumentative, cause-and-effect, and compare-and-contrast. The chapter expands their argument, suggesting that not only is the division artificial, but it is also positively unhelpful to students following English medium instruction at the tertiary level. As an example, a course-specific genre, the lab report, is examined to demonstrate just how its demands are removed from the conventional patterns.