A survey of United Kingdom (UK) Bisexuals' experiences of emotional distress support
As a psychotherapist and bisexual I was concerned after reading studies showing bisexuals have worse wellbeing than others and hearing multiple anecdotes from bisexuals about poor support from mental health or counselling services.I organised a number of gatherings to collect UK bisexuals' experiences of emotional distress support and clustered the results.Participants wanted good therapeutic experiences and sometimes found tolerant therapists who would be with them on a sometimes confusing or distressing journey of self-understanding and acceptance. Some valued therapists who were able to work with people who could not label their sexuality.Some experiences with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans (LGBT) services or therapists were positive, others were not.Bisexual clients may see multiple services over multiple episodes prompting confidentiality concerns, inappropriate psychiatric referrals, fatigue from needing to explain our sexuality multiple times and a lottery of whether a supplied therapist will be bi-friendly.Many participants had their bisexuality treated as pathological, as a symptom of underlying pathology or as the cause of their problems. Therapists seemed overly fixated on looking for a cause for a client's bisexuality.Therapist ignorance was often mentioned: Disclosing that they had never worked with a bi person, using an overly simplistic coming out model from straight to gay, being unaware of biphobia as a source of stress and incorrectly assuming all LGBT groups would welcome bisexuals.Many bisexuals reported therapists focussing on sexuality rather than the client's chosen area of concern, sometimes showing excessive interest in a client's sexual activity. Alternatively, some therapists avoided the issue. Some challenged a client to justify or prove their bisexuality in ways that clients thought would not have happened for lesbian, gay or heterosexual clients.Some reported experiences were gendered and/or sexist with women / women relationships being treated less seriously, bisexuality sometimes being seen as a defense and assumptions that all abuse was of women by men.Some respondents raised important intersectional issues around madness, race, class, religion, age and political climate.Some participants were also in education to provide emotional support professionally and reported a lack of course and tutor time, knowledge and interest on sexuality in general and challenges in being openly bi as a learner.While being aware of psychological dynamics affecting reports of therapy, a number of issues were commonly reported and I recommend should be addressed: Bisexuality is not an illness or logically connected with pathology. Bisexual clients should be listened to carefully and therapists should educate themselves outside of the clinic about the complexity and diversity of human sexuality. Therapists should process their own confusion or assumptions around sexuality in order to be in the right place to accompany clients on their journeys. More bisexual visibility is likely to be helpful.