From the families we choose to the families we find online: media technology and queer family making

Since the mid-2000s, a number of Western countries have witnessed an increase in the number of children born into ‘alternative’ or ‘queer’ families. Parallel with this queer baby boom, online media technologies have become intertwined with most people’s intimate lives. While these two phenomena have appeared simultaneously, their integration has seldom been explored. In an attempt to fill this gap, the present article explores the ways in which contemporary queer reproduction is interwoven with online media practices. Importantly, the article does not understand online media as a technology that simply facilitates queer kinship; rather, it argues that online media technology is a reproductive technology in its own right. Drawing on empirical examples of media practices of kinning, such as online shopping for donor sperm and locating ‘donor siblings’ via online fora such as Facebook, the article analyses the merging and intersection of online media and queer kinship. These analyses serve as a foundation for an exploration of contemporary kinship and the development of a new theoretical framework for contemporary queer reproduction. Empirically, the examples are from single women’s (i.e. solo mothers) and lesbian couples’ family making. Using Weston's work on ‘chosen families’ as a backdrop for discussion, the article describes families of choice in light of new online kinship connections. In particular, the article focuses on online-initiated connections between donor siblings and how such connections can re-inscribe biology as important to queer kinship. Furthermore, it closely examines how media technology guides queer reproduction in particular directions and how technology causes becoming as a family.

Frame Story Approach in Mixed and Multimethod Study on Non-Heterosexual Families in Poland

In the article, we discuss the usage of multi-methods qualitative approach in family research drawing on the monthly team ethnographic study of 21 non-heterosexual families in Poland. This study was employed as a part of a larger multi and mixed-method project Families of Choice in Poland, where we implemented a frame story approach ( FSA). By using the ethnographic study as an example, we aim to demonstrate how our approach enabled us to capture hidden elements of family practises and to understand challenges which non-heterosexual families face in contemporary Poland. Moreover, we show how our methodological decisions were in line with the local socio-political context where specific research methods may be more effective due to their less disclosing character. Finally, we provide a fieldwork illustration of our arguments which demonstrates how our methodological and analytical choices resulted in producing nuanced perspectives on issues of the hierarchy of motherhood and kin relations.

Through the Stomach to the Heart

The concept of families of choice was introduced almost three decades ago by Kath Weston (1997). She used it to describe the situation of the LGBTQ community in the era of the HIV/AIDS crisis, when the relations with families of origin had been heavily tested and proved to fail, whereas relations with friends were the primary source of care and support for the sick and dying, as well as their partners. Since then, contemporary non-heterosexual families are understood as their queer descendants and often the term “families of choice” is used synonymously. However, whereas much had been written about the ideologies of queer kinship, the sphere of the daily, ordinary, and often imperceptible practices of kinning, when nothing exceptional is happening (like a disease or family crisis) has still not been sufficiently examined. Therefore, it could be argued that the debate on queer kinship is rather conceptual and abstract with its focus on normativity/antinormativity (Wiegman and Wilson 2015), whereas the sphere of ordinariness and everydayness, where most of the queer kinning actually happens, is being neglected and marginalised in the discussion on queer kinship. In the paper, we explore this unmapped territory of queer kinship studies and specifically take a closer look at the material and everyday dimensions of kinship. To do so, we use the data gathered within the ethnographic research done within the Families of Choice in Poland-study (2013–2016, PI: Joanna Mizielińska). In this project, during thirty days of observation and several thematic interviews, done with twenty-one families, we were able to capture an in-depth picture of how the kinning practices are performed in daily life. In the paper we explore practices of silent intimacy (Jamieson 1998), focusing on food sharing practices among partners, but also between them and their families of origin that not always fully accept and support their relationship. In critical dialogue with Anglo- American scholarship on queer kinship, which built on and extends Weston’s classic work, we want to demonstrate that changing focus from its antinormative centrality towards embracing the ordinariness (Martin 1997) and everydayness of queer kinning, might not only contribute to developing the field, but also help us to understand the complexity of relational lives.

Negotiations between possibilities and reality: Reproductive choices of Families of Choice in Poland

Lack of recognition of queer families in Poland impacts their daily experiences in a distinct manner. However, the importance of geo-location and a Central and Eastern European perspective have been marginalized in Western studies on queer kinship. The present investigation examines from a local and intersectional perspective the reproductive plans and parental practices of lesbians in Poland as a part of the largest mixed-method study on queer families conducted in the CEE ( Families of Choice in Poland). In the article, the authors examine the parental decision processes and strategies employed to sidestep multiple legal and social obstacles (i.e. lack of legal recognition of the social mother and the risk of social stigmatization of the child). They argue that understanding local specificity in studies on queer families is key to comprehending their experiences.