June 21–22, 2005—Departure
These two meetings are dramatic and intense as Nell is entering her last hours. On June 21, she feels her energy “drop out of the bottom” and asks for a transfusion. Previously, it helped restore her vitality and made a big difference in her mood. Her physician feels it is not indicated, a very distressing answer for Nell. However, she realizes she is too weak to travel to the clinic and accepts that her body is shutting down. She is actively dying. She discusses objects she wants to give away and occasionally closes her eyes to rest, summoning the last of her energy to reenter our conversation. She is fading as she has predicted, just like Tinker Bell leaving this world for the next. Nevertheless, the life in her eyes ignites when we discuss her beloved tennis and the upcoming Wimbledon tennis match. On June 22, Al summons me to the bedside, where Nell is barely conscious. We both say goodbye as she takes her last breath. Together with her hospice nurse, we say a prayer. Nell has let go, not picking and choosing but rather accepting her ending.