Attending to the Ignored

Ostracism – being excluded and ignored – has received considerable attention in social psychology in the past few decades. Experimental evidence suggests that negative psychological reactions to ostracism are robust and widespread. Initially, ostracism is detected quickly as painful and reduces the satisfaction of four fundamental needs: belonging, self-esteem, control, and meaningful existence. When ostracism is experienced occasionally, individuals tend to respond and cope by trying to fortify the threatened needs, either by attempting to improve their inclusionary status (fortifying belonging and self-esteem by being more likable, agreeable, and pliable), by exerting more control and attention (by becoming more provocative, noticeable, but also sometimes more aggressive and violent), or by reducing future episodes of ostracism by seeking solitude. Persistent or long-term exposure to ostracism results in decreased coping attempts, and higher rates of alienation, depression, learned helplessness, and unworthiness. In this article, we integrate these findings with clinical theory and practice, seeking to apply experimental results to therapeutic applications.