Don’t make assumptions
Ruiz advises, “Don’t make assumptions.” Assuming we know another’s meaning and motive is as unreliable as them knowing ours. • We are not selected for a leadership position we wanted. We translate this as “I’m not as strong a leader as he is.” • We learn of a parent complaint about us. We refute, “She’s a habitual complainer and has no idea what she’s talking about.” • We are greeted warmly and happily by a colleague who is usually less dramatic. We assume, “She must want something from me.” If we would take one day to monitor our assumptions, it may be eye- opening, even life- opening. Making an assumption is not the same as drawing a conclusion. Conclusions are reasoned suppositions. Assumptions are often automatic and habitual. We may not know we have them, so we don’t challenge them. We may also be aghast at the assumptions others make about us. A “No Assumptions Day” can change the style and content of our communications. It can challenge us to be clear with others about our own intentions and reasons. Shedding assumptions can liberate. It can illuminate. It can revitalize. Don’t make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. (Ruiz, 1997)