• “You want my honest opinion?” • “I’m just being honest.” • “I’m going to be brutally honest with you.” For many of us, hearing these words causes us to brace for mean- spirited “feedback.” And when we are the one “being honest,” we may believe we have unfettered permission to hurt, harm, or embarrass . . . all under the guise of honesty. Too often, the speaker uses “I’m just being honest” to excuse himself or herself from a kind or tempered commentary. Think of the categories toward which this kind of brutal honesty is aimed: appearance, skills, integrity, home life, family members, level of education, and so on. What is honesty, anyway, and why do we use it to say and do harsh and hurtful things? Why do we give ourselves permission to be impolite and to degrade someone under the banner of “being honest”? The etymology of the word “honesty” may surprise you. In previous centuries, the original meaning had the same root as the word “honor”: good manners, elegance, decency. Imagine how our verbal interactions might change if our honesty became honorable action. Imagine how our vitality in schools may change when we aspire to interact with decency and good manners, to be honest with students as well as staff. Imagine how we might explain and demonstrate honor and honesty throughout our students’ time with us. • Rather than speak with unconstrained freedom to hurt and hinder, we would display honesty with honorable actions and elegant intent. • Rather than equate honesty with “truth” (whose truth?), we would use honesty as the opportunity to behave with decency and good manners. When we adopt such noble attitudes and behaviors, we feel vibrant. Our energy changes. Our sense of being both peaceful and powerful is clear. We know we are on rich, solid ground. Behaving the way we choose, rather than the way that feels most natural, is foundational to our own leadership, maturity, and ability to help our students grow and develop . . . . Perhaps we are closer to being honest with ourselves and others when we act the way we know is best for the situation and act the way we want to be rather than acting according to habit and what feels natural.