Need Fulfillment and Emotional Experience in Interdependent Romantic Relationships

In this article, I will focus on highly conflictual couples with extensive emotional deprivation and unresolved trauma, which prevents them from developing healthy romantic relationships and overcoming the challenges entailed in any intimate attachment. I will describe how everyday interactions are experienced as threatening or even lethal movements between the partners. The question which arises in the psychoanalytical therapeutic process is how to help the couple tolerate the sensory reminders of the unresolved trauma as a necessary precursor to any process of symbolisation. In order to provide a safe enough therapeutic attachment bond, extensive time is dedicated to the emotional experience of self and the other in the here-and-now of the session, which validates the emotional experience of the couple as well as contains it. The therapy focuses on the transferential and countertransferential movements inspired by the matrix of the victim, abuser, and uninvolved witness (Davies & Frawley, 1994) to elaborate the intertwining of the unresolved trauma with the couple’s form of attachment. In order to illustrate my argument, I present two examples: one from a fictional narration and another from my clinical work.

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Dialecticism in Close Relationships and Marriage

10.1093/oso/9780199348541.003.0012 ◽

2018 ◽

Cited By ~ 1

Author(s):

Susan E. Cross ◽

Ben C. P. Lam

Keyword(s):

Romantic Relationships ◽

Cultural Differences ◽

Romantic Relationship ◽

Emotional Experience ◽

Empirical Studies ◽

Theoretical Perspective ◽

Cross Cultural ◽

Cross Cultural Differences ◽

Married Individuals ◽

The Relationship

This chapter explores how the cultural framework of dialecticism can be applied in research on romantic relationships. Using cross-cultural data from dating and married individuals, the chapter first examines the predictions that East Asians, as compared to Westerners, are more ambivalent and realistic in their perceptions of their partners, perceive lower similarity with their partners, and are more motivated to adjust and change themselves in the relationship. It then discusses research on cross-cultural differences in emotional experience among couples and relationship cognitions (e.g., the concept of Yuan and focalism). In sum, it is suggested that cross-cultural differences in how individuals think, feel, and act in romantic relationship contexts can be understood through the theoretical perspective of dialecticism. However, more empirical studies are needed to explore the influence of dialectical thinking on relationship development and maintenance across cultural contexts.

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Influence of approach-avoidance commitment on emotional experience in romantic relationships: From the perspective of actor-partner interdependence moderation model (APIMoM)

THE JAPANESE JOURNAL OF EXPERIMENTAL SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY ◽

10.2130/jjesp.si3-9 ◽

2017 ◽

Vol 56 (2) ◽

pp. 195-206 ◽

Cited By ~ 1

Author(s):

Kentaro Komura

Keyword(s):

Romantic Relationships ◽

Emotional Experience ◽

Approach Avoidance ◽

Moderation Model

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Reasons for sex and relational outcomes in consensually nonmonogamous and monogamous relationships

Journal of Social and Personal Relationships ◽

10.1177/0265407517743082 ◽

2018 ◽

Vol 35 (4) ◽

pp. 632-654 ◽

Cited By ~ 11

Author(s):

Jessica Wood ◽

Serge Desmarais ◽

Tyler Burleigh ◽

Robin Milhausen

Keyword(s):

Romantic Relationships ◽

Sexual Satisfaction ◽

Sexual Motivation ◽

Self Determination Theory ◽

Cross Sectional Survey ◽

Need Fulfillment ◽

Cross Sectional ◽

Relational Outcomes ◽

Amazon's Mechanical Turk ◽

The Impact

Approximately 4% of individuals in North America participate in consensually nonmonogamous (CNM) relationships, wherein all partners have agreed to additional sexual and/or emotional partnerships. The CNM relationships are stigmatized and viewed as less stable and satisfying than monogamous relationships, a perception that persists despite research evidence. In our study, we assess the legitimacy of this negative perception by using a self-determination theory (SDT) framework to explore how sexual motivation impacts relational and sexual satisfaction among CNM and monogamous participants in romantic relationships. A total of 348 CNM ( n = 142) and monogamous participants ( n = 206) were recruited from Amazon’s Mechanical Turk (MTurk. (2016). www.mturk.com ) to complete a cross-sectional survey. Participants reported on their sexual motivations during their most recent sexual event, their level of sexual need fulfillment, and measures of sexual and relational satisfaction with their current (primary) partner. The CNM and monogamous participants reported similar reasons for engaging in sex, though CNM participants were significantly more likely to have sex for personal intrinsic motives. No differences in mean levels of relationship and sexual satisfaction were found between CNM and monogamous individuals. Participants who engaged in sex for more self-determined reasons reported increased relational and sexual satisfaction. This relationship was mediated by sexual need fulfillment; participants who reported more self-determined motives reported higher levels of need fulfillment and, in turn, greater relationship and sexual satisfaction. This study indicates that CNM and monogamous individuals report similar levels of satisfaction within their relationship(s) and that the mechanisms that affect relational and sexual satisfaction are similar for both CNM and monogamous individuals. Our research extends theoretical understandings of motivation within romantic relationships and suggests that SDT is a useful framework for considering the impact of sexual motivation on relational outcomes.

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Emotional Variability Predicts Tiredness in Daily Life

Journal of Individual Differences ◽

10.1027/1614-0001/a000206 ◽

2016 ◽

Vol 37 (3) ◽

pp. 181-193 ◽

Cited By ~ 4

Author(s):

Aire Mill ◽

Anu Realo ◽

Jüri Allik

Keyword(s):

Sampling Method ◽

Daily Life ◽

Emotional Experience ◽

Experience Sampling ◽

Experience Sampling Method ◽

Building Blocks ◽

Intraindividual Variability ◽

Unique Role ◽

Over Time

Abstract. Intraindividual variability, along with the more frequently studied between-person variability, has been argued to be one of the basic building blocks of emotional experience. The aim of the current study is to examine whether intraindividual variability in affect predicts tiredness in daily life. Intraindividual variability in affect was studied with the experience sampling method in a group of 110 participants (aged between 19 and 84 years) during 14 consecutive days on seven randomly determined occasions per day. The results suggest that affect variability is a stable construct over time and situations. Our findings also demonstrate that intraindividual variability in affect has a unique role in predicting increased levels of tiredness at the momentary level as well at the level of individuals.

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Narcissism and Perceived Inequity in Attractiveness in Romantic Relationships

European Psychologist ◽

10.1027/1016-9040/a000025 ◽

2011 ◽

Vol 16 (4) ◽

pp. 295-302 ◽

Cited By ~ 6

Author(s):

Elke Rohmann ◽

Hans-Werner Bierhoff ◽

Martina Schmohr

Keyword(s):

Romantic Relationships ◽

Self Esteem ◽

Gender Effect ◽

Dyadic Analysis ◽

Dyadic Data ◽

Actor Partner Interdependence Model ◽

Narcissistic Personality ◽

Intraclass Correlations ◽

Narcissistic Personality Inventory ◽

Additional Variance

In three studies of romantic relationships (N = 253, N = 81, and N = 98) the hypothesis was tested that high narcissists, relative to low narcissists, distort the assessment of equity in attractiveness. Narcissism was measured by the Narcissistic Personality Inventory. In Study 1 the hypothesis was confirmed. In Study 2 it was shown that although narcissism correlated significantly with self-esteem, it was the unique variance in narcissism which predicted the tendency to feel underbenefited in respect to attractiveness. Finally in Study 3, dyadic data were analyzed on the basis of the Actor-Partner Interdependence Model. The data of 49 couples who lived together were included. The dyadic analysis indicated that actor narcissism exerted the expected influence on perceived inequity in attractiveness, whereas partner narcissism explained no additional variance. High narcissists felt more underbenefited than low narcissists. The analysis of dyadic data in Study 3 indicates that the link between narcissism and equity in attractiveness turns out to be an intrapersonal phenomenon because only actor narcissism, not partner narcissism, is significantly correlated with perceived inequity. In addition, partial intraclass correlations revealed that if one partner tended to feel underbenefited, the other partner tended to feel overbenefited. The results are explained on the basis of the agentic model of narcissism. All three studies consistently revealed a gender effect indicating that women felt more underbenefited than men in terms of attractiveness.

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Initiating, Maintaining, or Breaking Up?

Social Psychology ◽

10.1027/1864-9335/a000200 ◽

2014 ◽

Vol 45 (5) ◽

pp. 408-420 ◽

Cited By ~ 7

Author(s):

Michela Menegatti ◽

Monica Rubini

Keyword(s):

Romantic Relationships ◽

Romantic Relationship ◽

Self Disclosure ◽

Level Of Abstraction ◽

Problematic Relationship ◽

Abstract Language ◽

Language Abstraction

Two studies examined whether individuals vary the level of abstraction of messages composed to achieve the relational goals of initiating, maintaining, and ending a romantic relationships when the goal of communication was self-disclosure or persuading one’s partner. Study 1 showed that abstract language was preferred to disclose thoughts and feelings about initiating a romantic relationship or to persuade the partner to consolidate a long-term one. Study 2 revealed that participants used abstract terms to persuade the partner to continue a problematic relationship and to disclose their thoughts on ending it. These results show that language abstraction is a flexible means to handle individuals’ goals and influence the course of romantic relationships.

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