Telling stories of rape, revenge and redemption in the age of the TED talk

The last few years have witnessed increasing discussion of sexual violence in the mainstream media and public debate in North America and elsewhere, especially with the most recent wave of sexual assault and harassment allegations in entertainment, media and public institutions, called the #MeToo campaign. Despite the view that men must be engaged in this conversation in order to be effective at preventing violence and changing deep-seated patriarchal attitudes, the place of male voices in this ongoing conversation is hotly in question. This article analyzes an unusual and controversial project by Thordis Elva and Tom Stranger, who, 20 years after Stranger raped Elva, produced a TED talk (2016) watched by over 3 million people, and a jointly written book, South of Forgiveness (Elva and Stranger, 2017), detailing their story of forgiveness and redemption. The first part of this article situates this unprecedented victim-rapist enterprise within the history of feminist anti-rape politics and men’s involvement in that politics, arguing that this project both instantiates, and critiques, an appeal to the ‘good man’. The second part analyzes the book South of Forgiveness as a survivor story that is more complex than the highly reductive format of a TED talk allows, and shows how its uneasy fit within the putative frameworks of ‘restorative’ or informal justice (as Elva and others claim it to be) is a function of the unacknowledged dimension to the performance in the form of revenge. The third part of the article turns to Elva’s and Stranger’s public performances that began with the TED talk and book tour, which we attended, to show how this function of revenge played out theatrically and implicates the spectator as bystander and witness. We conclude by reflecting upon the implications of listening to male perpetrators speak against sexual violence against women and our responsibility towards these questions as feminist legal academics.