PurposeMany have noted the role of metaphor in branding understanding. More than mere decorative frills, tropes play a fundamental, foundational part in the process. The purpose of this comment is to consider some of the branding's core conceits and classifies them for scholarly convenience.Design/methodology/approachMetaphors, first and foremost, are figures of speech not analytical tools or techniques. Accordingly, the commentary adopts an appropriate literary approach to its subject matter. Reflective for the most part, it seeks to deconstruct and reconstruct simultaneously. Suggestion not stipulation is the aim.FindingsAfter scrutinising branding's figurative landscape, then focussing on several promising analogies, the commentary concludes with a cautionary note concerning internal branding. Metaphor is not all fun and games, nor the be all and end all of branding understanding.Originality/valueServices marketing possesses two powerful and deeply entrenched tropes – relationships and dramaturgy. Although this comment touches on both, particularly the former, it points out the plethora of figurative possibilities, some fresh, others familiar, that are available to brand managers and researchers both.