The End of the Affair

Today, most people are fairly optimistic about the fate of love. They believe their current love affairs will last forever. Yet, the odds are against a youthful romance deepening into a long and satisfying marriage. This chapter discusses how long passionate love lasts and factors that can play a role in its stability. It reviews the suffering that people sometimes experience after a breakup, including both emotional and physical manifestations and health consequences. The chapter discusses gender differences in dealing with loss, and provides a scale for measuring degrees of loneliness. Some suggestions for starting over in relationships are also offered.

Sex Dolls and Robots

The process and experience of finding a romantic and sexual mate has been an ongoing source of confusion and frustration for many. While some individuals find it difficult to find a mate who shares their same romantic and sexual preferences, others struggle to find a mate altogether. In fact, as sexual alternatives such as sex robots and online sex become more and more accessible, many individuals may simply come to prefer this nontraditionally partnered form of sex. This preference may already be occurring—futurists predict that by 2050 human-on-robot sex will be more common than human-on-human sex. One is left to ponder, what does this mean for the future of human connection and reproduction? What kind of robot personality will be desired when anyone can have anything they want, for a price? This chapter seeks to answer these questions while demystifying the intersection between technology, sex, and the future of human partnerships.

The Future of Love and Sex

Yale historian Robin Winks once observed that writing history is “like nailing jelly to the wall.” But, he added, “someone must keep trying.” Trying to describe sweeping historical trends and then to predict future trends is even more difficult. This chapter considers futurists’ predictions as to the social, economic, and behavioral advances we might expect in the next 50 years. The predictions are divided into three categories: technological transformations, economic and practical changes, and cultural alterations in general attitudes. The future of love and sex is discussed in the context of these changes, along with trends in globalization. Since we tend to think technology may be the major driver of change in history, the chapter starts there.

The Business of Love and Sex

Any time a new form of communication appears—from the penny dreadfuls to Morse code and the telegraph, skywriting, the wireless radio, TV, or iPads and computers—men and women find creative ways to use that technology to find love and sexual partners. This chapter discusses the evolution of modern-day matchmaking services. Topics addressed include computer matching, online dating, popular dating sites, dating apps, and the dangers as well as the advantages of matching. The chapter also discusses online dating personal profiles, qualities to look for in a mate, and matches made via DNA and immunological sampling. A list of various matchmaking websites and phone apps is also provided.

The Hookup Culture

This chapter reviews current theorizing regarding the impact of cultural, social, and gender factors on young people’s attitudes toward casual sex, one-night stands, hookups, and the like. The chapter also looks at the impact of these variables on the frequency of young people’s sexual fantasies and their desire and willingness to engage in casual sexual activity. Currently, cultural psychologists, feminists, and evolutionary psychologists are engaged in a great debate as to why men and women differ in their enthusiasm for casual sex. Is it because men are more sexual beings, or is it because women who engage in casual sex face more stigma and dangers? As the sexes become more equal in opportunities, will existing gender differences disappear?

The Nature of Love

Researchers have found that people in love enjoy many advantages: love is known to improve psychological, emotional, and physical health. When things go badly, however, lovers may suffer the pangs of rejection, jealousy, sadness, and anger. People can learn from both the joy of fulfilling relationships and the pain they suffer from the affairs that go wrong. This chapter discusses the joys of love and the troubles of love, as reflected in studies of the neuroscience of love and loss and of unrequited love. It also reports on the physiological and psychological effects of jealousy and vengeance.

Going, Going, Gone

Marriage markets have existed since ancient times. Parents in traditional cultures routinely negotiate for the best deal possible. This fact is so taken for granted that when queried about “markets,” parents attempting to arrange such pairings have trouble even understanding the question. How could it be otherwise? In the West, for much of the past two centuries, young Romeos and Juliets have insisted they will marry for love. Is it possible that we are now coming full circle? People on websites are often eminently practical, using blatant metaphors of the marketplace. Advice books talk about selling yourself and creating your brand. They advise men and women to shop around, to realize there are always trade-offs, to do a cost-benefit analysis, and not to settle for damaged goods. Or they advise that it is wise to invest in a relationship before your market value plummets, and try to position yourself to optimize your romantic options, to be aware that there are opportunity costs in committing to the wrong partner. This chapter discusses market considerations in love.

The Globalization of Western Love via the Internet

This chapter discusses the history of passionate love in the West and how it is transforming global identities, not replacing them. The Internet offers new platforms where people can experience love and relationships within local contexts. While Western romantic love is often seen as the ideal and perhaps even as a symbol of modernity itself, billions of people throughout history and across the world experience and express love in different ways. There is not yet a global village for love. Instead, there is a world filled with millions of villages. But the movement is as much toward that homogeneous global village modeled in the West as it is toward variability. Stay tuned for the outcome, as it is yet unknown.

From Monogamy to Swingers and Polyamory

This chapter utilizes a scientific lens to discuss contemporary literature on non-monogamous relationships, from swingers, to polyamorous couples, to open marriages, and everything in between. It also addresses the degree to which such relationships are experienced as infidelity. Analyzing current demographic trends and psychological research, the chapter discusses the impact of these nontraditional sexual partnerships on partners’ sense of jealousy, happiness, and overall relationship satisfaction. The chapter seeks to answer the question of whether are we programmed for monogamy or if it is merely a social construction.

Sexual Behaviors

In the 21st century we find that sexual motives—beyond procreation, power, love, and pleasure—have multiplied exponentially. Couples (and others) are having sex for revenge, for exercise, to decrease the chance of or to resolve fights, for practice, for stress reduction, for hurt and for hate, as a rite of passage, to get a job, for status, for that part in the movie, to counter boredom, for money, for duty, for erotic discovery, for research, for couples therapy, and for so many more reasons. What this may add up to as we look into the future is that sexual activity will continue to be demystified. As the motives multiply, as the platforms on which sex can be activated and grow larger, for example, on the Web or on pornographic websites or with sex dolls, robots, avatars, and operating systems, both guilt and magic may find their force withering. This chapter discusses various types of contemporary sexual activity and motives and the research on both.