Transformative Self-Regulation and the Quiet Ego
This chapter examines how the transformative self facilitates long-term self-regulation. Most research on self-regulation targets the immediate moment (referred to here as micro self-regulation) or personal events that last weeks or months (meso self-regulation). In contrast, the transformative self functions as a tool for macro self-regulation in one’s attempt to shape one’s life over time (for which evolving life stories are especially well suited). Hedonic, transformative self-regulation comes in the forms of realistic optimism, self-improvement motivation, cybernetic feedback motives, intentional self-development, and the flexible pursuit of goals. Eudaimonic, transformative self-regulation is especially helpful for adaptation to life’s difficulties and is found in dual-process models of adaptation to loss and potential trauma. These dual processes aim to regulate and balance both affect and meaning-making. The quiet ego represents a synthesis of these forms of self-regulation, balancing detached awareness (e.g., mindfulness), inclusive identity (e.g., interdependence, compassion), perspective-taking (e.g., value perspectivity), and growth-mindedness.