Affect and motivation are known to arise in the social‐cognitive process transference, which occurs when a new person minimally resembles a significant other, implicitly activating the mental representation of this significant other (Andersen, Reznik, & Manzella, 1996) and indirectly, the relational self (i.e. Andersen & Chen, 2002). Triggering the significant‐other representation should also indirectly activate any self‐discrepancy held from this other's perspective, resulting in shifts in discrete affect and self‐regulation. Participants (n = 110; 34 men, 76 women) with an actual‐ideal or actual‐ought self‐discrepancy from their parent's perspective (Higgins, 1987) learned about a new person who did or did not minimally resemble this parent. As predicted, this evoked positive evaluation of the new person, that is, a positive transference, and yet, as a function of self‐discrepancy, also increased discrete negative mood with ideal‐discrepant individuals becoming more dejected and ought‐discrepant individuals more hostile and less calm. Self‐regulatory focus shifted as well in terms of motivation to avoid emotional closeness. Copyright © 2007 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.