Hard-Earned Wisdom
In 1994, Kenneth Schwartz, a forty-year-old healthcare attorney from Boston, was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. At different times during his progressive illness, he was deeply moved by aspects of his care that were less strictly medical or technical: a calming visit from a nurse prior to surgery; a personal connection with an anesthesiology resident from his neighborhood; and, toward the end of his life, the kindness and perspective provided by his oncologist. Shortly before his death, Mr. Schwartz founded a non-profit organization to promote the kind of compassionate care that had meant so much to him. Two decades later, the Schwartz Center for Compassionate Healthcare reaches millions of patients and hundreds of thousands of caregivers to realize its founder’s vision of more humane care for the seriously ill. A cornerstone of the Center’s work is the Schwartz Rounds program, which brings healthcare providers from multiple disciplines together for frank discussions about the emotional and psychosocial challenges of caring for patients. More than five hundred healthcare organizations around the world host these ongoing, non-traditional conferences. A few years ago, the organizer of Schwartz Rounds at UNC invited us to lead an upcoming conference. She was aware of our work with the single fathers support group and wanted us to address the challenges that spouses face when caring for a partner with a terminal illness. At the next group meeting, we mentioned this request to the men and asked them for their advice. Each father had been an eyewitness to the end of his wife’s life and knew well how that heartbreaking time had impacted his entire family. Not surprisingly, they had a lot to say about end-of-life care and how it could be improved. Karl was particularly passionate. “I’ve actually thought about this a lot since Susan died. Obviously, the patient is the focus, but I think it’s also important for doctors to appreciate what the family goes through—especially when there are kids at home and the spouse is a co-parent. That dynamic alone influences so many things.”