April 19, 2005—Leaving Gifts
In this dialogue, Nell lets go of possessions and gifts them to friends and relatives. She was especially pleased with transferring 120,000 frequent-flyer miles to her niece’s family so they could make their annual pilgrimage to Michigan from Seattle. This is the second time she has downsized in two years. When she and Al moved from their home to this apartment, they had to place furniture in storage or sell it. A major loss with the move was her highly valued garden with its associated activities, especially digging in the good earth. Nell once again spoke of her intense fear of suffocation and likened it to “skating in the dark.” She feels the same type of fear and panic when she cannot swallow due to dry mouth. Her shortness of breath has been a continual challenge; the addition of an oxygen apparatus has helped. Unfortunately, she had difficulty getting the machine to work properly because it was delivered without an essential component, the humidifier. Consequently, her nasal passages were drying out and bleeding. She subsequently needed to increase her self-advocacy efforts with the hospice healthcare providers. We practiced a breathing exercise to help her settle herself when she feels short of breath.