At the time of publishing, it is exactly 50 years since Bob Dylan answered a number of enigmatic questions with the ambiguous line ‘the answer is blowin’ in the wind’ on the A-side of the record The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan. But one of these, ‘How many years can a mountain exist before it’s washed to the sea?’ we can at least try to answer, as part of the solution lies in one of the more famous rules of thumb one learns as a novice chemist: positively charged metal ions combined with oxides (O2−), sulphides (S2−), phosphates (PO43− ), silicates (SiO42−), and carbonates (CO32−), are insoluble in water, whereas similar nitrates (NO3− ), chlorides (Cl−), and bromides (Br−), are soluble. In terms of stuff you’ve got in your kitchen, this means that when you put a spoon of table salt (NaCl) into water it will ‘disappear’, faster if you stir or heat, and the water will look exactly the same as before. For the insoluble stuff, we move to the more expensive regions of the cupboards and investigate the state of our silver and copperware. When things like these were to be on display, my mother used to have me clean them with silver or copper polish, as the oxides and sulphides tarnishing the metal surfaces did not go away in a normal wash with water—they are completely insoluble. A suitable but boring exercise, and as close to a chemistry set as I ever came as a child. What they normally don’t tell you in chemistry textbooks however, are the enormous consequences of these rules, visible all over the world. Why are mountains made of rocks from oxides, sulphides, phosphates, silicates, and carbonates? Because they are insoluble! Any mountains made from sodium chloride would indeed have been ‘washed to the sea’ thousands of years ago, and where NaCl can be mined it is also known as rock salt, and found either underground or in regions with a very dry climate. Which brings us to the hero and heroine if this chapter.